How do you react when your child cries or throws a tantrum?

Your reaction has a far-ranging effect on your child's physical and mental well-being. Do you ignore your child and find something else to do? Do you react negatively by being harsh and judgmental? Or do you engage with them and help them work out their feelings?

For some fathers, the sight of a crying child can be something alien or even frustrating. Unlike moms, dads seem to need more help with learning how to soothe a troubled child.

But what many dads do not know is that they play an essential role in developing their children's emotional intelligence. Fathers who are emotionally distant tend to have children who perform poorly in school and have a lower quality of health.

What is emotional intelligence?

What exactly is emotional intelligence, and why should dads be concerned about it?

According to psychologist and author Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence (EQ) may be more important than intellectual intelligence or IQ. He is not alone in this belief, as many other experts have suggested that IQ does not fully embrace the full breadth of human intelligence.

But what exactly is EQ, and why does it matter?

EQ is all about one's emotions – how a person controls, expresses, perceives, and evaluates these. It is about identifying emotions in yourself and others, relating to others, and how you communicate with other people.

The importance of EQ

While some experts believe IQ is still an important barometer for success, many already understand that it is only one part of a larger equation.

Some studies that have delved into both IQ and EQ have found that people with average IQ can outperform their “smarter” peers when they have higher emotional intelligence. And this is not just in terms of success in work. Many companies have also recognized the value of EQ in the workplace, mandating emotional intelligence training to boost their employees' performance.

Is it possible to learn emotional intelligence?

The short answer is yes. Social and emotional learning (SEL) program results indicate that child participants improved their academic performance, reduced absences, and minimized discipline-related problems.

It is possible to increase a person's emotional intelligence even later in life. However, children with high EQ enter adulthood with a definite advantage over their peers.

This is one particular area where dads can make a difference.

What type of dad are you?

Parents can be broadly classified into two: those who are attuned to their children's emotions and help them navigate these, and those who are not.

Mothers are indeed often more equipped for the task of helping kids deal with emotions simply because of their intuition and child-nurturing instinct, whereas men have yet to learn about this vital aspect of life.

But as a dad, you can give your children a substantial advantage later in life if you are willing to be an emotional coach for your kids. Children with fathers who participate in building EQ perform well inside and outside of the classroom. They show exceptional self-control, camaraderie with peers and the ability to handle disappointments and losses gracefully.

What can you do?

Together with your partner and your chosen kids' nursery in Dubai, there are three things that you can do to raise emotionally intelligent children.

  1. Look at negative emotions as opportunities

Instead of tuning out your child's negative emotions, you can use these as an opportunity to connect and grow with them.

Instead of dismissing or scolding your little one, recognize that these emotions are a part of growing up, which they will outgrow over time.

By recognizing these emotions, you are telling them that their feelings matter.

  1. Teach your child to label his emotions

Learning to label their feelings makes it easier for children to regulate their emotions and avoid being overwhelmed.

When your child says something that is unacceptable or if you have a problem deciphering his emotions, do not become frustrated. Instead, put yourself in his shoes and ask questions to help you understand their feelings. This lets them know you are on their side, ready to help when things seem overwhelming.

  1. Let your children solve their own problems

Kids have an innate desire for self-autonomy, and you can use this in teaching how to react to situations that may seem unfavorable to them.

Parents must teach children that all emotions are acceptable. However, not all behaviors are okay.

In situations that may seem unfair to your child, provide a listening ear and help them look at their troubles from different perspectives to arrive at other possible solutions.

As a dad, you play a critical role in the development of your kid's emotional intelligence. And the earlier they develop their EQ, the better their chances of success later in life.

Education: How Your Choice of School Affects Your Child's EQ

The development of emotional intelligence starts at home. However, children enrolled in a school where EQ is valued have a better chance of learning it.

When choosing an educational institution to trust with your child's learning, you must consider how much they value emotions.

According to a study on childhood education, a positive classroom climate translates to higher emotional intelligence in children. 

Give your child a head start by choosing a nursery that fosters satisfaction and cohesiveness rather than friction and competitiveness. 

Look for a school in Dubai that follows the Early Years Foundation Stage or EYFS curriculum. This will ensure that your child is exposed to activities and learning objectives focused on developing emotional intelligence.

When it comes to EQ, the Early Years Foundation Stage pays special attention to self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy and social skills. Moreover, research has shown that a loving and supportive environment boosts children's cognitive performance as well as their ability to manage their emotions and behavior.

Be the Best Dad You Can Be

As a dad, you have the ability and responsibility to raise emotionally intelligent children. Although it's not an easy task, it's also not impossible.

Practice open communication, active listening, and patience. With help from educators who understand the value of emotional intelligence, you can ensure that your child has a brighter and happier future.